And Smile

Slide into the car
Click in the seat belt

Turn the key

Pull out of the driveway

Turn the radio up

Tightly grip the steering wheel

As eyes begin to sting

Breathe

Breathe

Too late

Throat clogs

Vision blurs

Blink

Tear slips down cheek

Blink

Another 

And another

A relentless torrent

Chest heaves

Throat burns

Hand over mouth

Tugging at hair

Knuckles white on the wheel

Can't feel

Yet feeling too much

Gnawing, empty ache

Bitter taste

Tears fall hot

Freezing on cheek and neck

Can't think
Can't understand
Why
Why?
What is wrong with you?
What are these feelings?
Swirling
Building
This chaotic storm

Rev the gas

Turn too fast

Stop too quick

Not caring--caring too much

Cry out

Scream

WHY?!

Think of swerving--bam!

But you don't

Tears fade away

But the pain remains

Bitter 

Hard

Empty

Pull into the parking lot

Turn off the engine

Wipe off the tears

Check the mirror

Deep breath

Step out of the car

Feet on the pavement
Walk to the door
Hand on the knob
Close your eyes

Breathe

Turn the handle
Step inside

Lick the salt off your lips

And smile

Just because you don't see it
Doesn't mean it isn't there
The most painful scars
Are often the most carefully concealed
So take the time to look
Take the time to see
Don't underestimate the power
Of just noticing